so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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