I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
