ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
