hotel room ftw
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
