I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
