clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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