Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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