I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
