i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
