one two three fourrrrnication!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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