Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
