lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We need to rekindle our bromance
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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