We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
