He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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