do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
