I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
