sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
