I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
