Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
