My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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