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Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
