We won't sleep together?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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