Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
