Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
