I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
