if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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