I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
