I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
