we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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