I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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