he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
