i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
