i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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