i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
