Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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