i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
