My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
