Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
