Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
two words: eviction party
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
