if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
