She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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