he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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