I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
