it wasn't lemon gatorade
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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