ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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