My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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