My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
