it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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