my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
