Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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