capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
